To Talk Dirty You Need to Build Your Vocabulary

If you are looking to start talking dirty then one of the things you will need to do is build up a vocabulary of words and dirty talk phrases to use. If you have used all the naughty things you can think of while in bed and are running out of new dirty things to say to you boyfriend or partner then I’ll give you some advice.

A good place to find new dirty talk words and phrases is the old standby adult movies. Adult movies have both dirty talk and dirty actions and you can take dialogue from both of them to use.

Besides adult movies hot and steaming rated R or NC-17 love movies can be good as well. These might actually have more lines in them then a straight up “adult movie”. If you can’t think of the last movie that made you hot and bothered just go to your local video store and ask them to recommend something that is truly steamy.

While watching these movies if you see a particular hot scene you should pause the movie and try to repeat what they said in you most dirty voice. This will help you get comfortable in talking dirty and will also reinforce the scene and words in your mind so you can use them at a later time. The three top movies I tell my clients to get are The English Patient, Basic Instinct, An Affair of Love (Une Liasion Pornographique) and The Big Easy. And decent video store should have one or two of them.

So there you have it, dirty talk vocabulary can be taken from all over but one of the best places to get it is good old fashion movies.

Date Movies – Observing Relationship Behaviors – On and Off the Big Screen

So, you’ve found a new potential partner. You’re observing each other and comparing items from your lists of requirements, needs and wants. You ask lots of questions – he/she asks lots of questions. You talk and talk about your experiences, viewpoints and notions. However some people can really “talk the talk” – but walk a completely different walk. What someone says about his/her values and beliefs may not be as accurate as how he or she reacts or responds to experiences in real life. So, how can you arrange an experience so that you can observe the reactions?

The movie industry has provided thousands of opportunities to peer into the dynamics of people’s lives and relationships from a slight distance. And they’ve gotten really good at presenting stories that evoke our emotional involvement – making movies a multi-dimensional experience. Watching a movie together and observing our reactions and thoughts to the story-lines, events and characters provide lots of information about each other in just about two hours. And, there’s a wealth of information to be gleaned beyond just the plot or the content of the films.

Movies can spotlight many life-circumstance issues that are important to us but often coast just-under-the-radar early in the development of a new relationship. You can select movie content likely to query issues that are important to you (i.e., fidelity, children, careers, alternative relationship structures, etc.). You can choose movie genres that demonstrate levels of risk-taking, humor-styles or intellectual effort. You can choose movies that reflect values that are important to you, allowing you to observe your potential partner’s response to those values. At the very least, you can enjoy a non-committal evening with a movie that you know you’ll enjoy.

The next time you watch a movie together, you might consider making it more than just fun – See if the following hints/questions about choices and movie behavior can add a third dimension to your movie experience.

Decision/Action style – When you plan a movie date, who picks which movie to see? When you don’t agree on just one movie title, who makes the final decision? How do you negotiate or compromise? And what happens if one person caves to appease the other? This “conflict” can provide an opportunity to observe a preview about how you and your partner might potentially resolve conflict in the future.

Personality/Values – In deciding what to see, you’ll each have an opportunity to examine the types of movies the other person enjoys. For example, some people are only interested in romantic comedies, others only in shoot-’em-up action films. As you and your partner identify which movies you are considering, you can also be noting what your film choice might be saying about each of you. Do you prefer intellectual films, slapstick, mysteries, documentaries, art-films, etc.? What is it about the type of movie you like that provides evidence of personality-style or values?

Personal Growth – Can you or your date get value/enjoyment out of a film even if it isn’t your favorite genre? Can you imagine that the character’s experience or challenges can be useful in your own life? The ability to appreciate a story, conflict or circumstance that is seemingly unrelated to one’s experience or understanding could demonstrate a commitment to a broader vision, more expansive thinking and willingness to seize an opportunity for a new experience.

Behavioral clues – Is your partner able to concentrate on the movie? Does he/she make frequent attention-grabbing interruptions. Although you may not be able to define the specific behavior, you might find yourself annoyed during in this little two-hour experience. Are you ready for a life-time of it?

Obviously, choosing and watching a movie together should not be the only “screening” or “testing” technique you use to determine value of your relationship or the worthiness of continuing to explore its potential. But if you use movies intentionally as an experiment (by consciously observing and discussing your reactions, interactions and behaviors), this micro-event can become a useful potential predictor of future relationship alignment.

Want your Child to Love Books? Go See a Movie!

Reading a book from which a movie is made is almost always a richer experience than simply watching the movie. The experience of savoring the words on the page and allowing yourself to be taken on a journey inspired by the author is sublime. As the author paints a picture with words, your imagination fills in the blanks until the voices of the characters and the images of the settings resonate in your mind.

After reading and thoroughly enjoying a well-written book, watching the movie adaptation can be a interesting experience. The voices and images from your imagination are juxtaposed by those created by the actors, the director, and the cinematographer. It’s not that the experience of watching a movie adaptation is necessarily bad – it’s simply different. It presents a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate to your children the difference between words on a page and images on a screen – and to have a great family experience in the process.

Almost without fail, your children will agree that while they enjoyed the movie, the experience created by their own imagination is better. Demonstrating to your child that their imagination is more powerful than a hollywood blockbuster is a very liberating and supportive exercise. Believe it or not, going through this process of reading a great book and seeing the movie actually reinforces your child’s love of reading and the use of their imagination!

Between now and the end of the year, there are two opportunities to read a great book and then to see the movie adaptation. The movie, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (PG-13), was released in theaters on November 18, while the movie, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (PG) as released on December 9.

As a family, take the opportunity to read Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire before watching the movie. Discuss which scenes you think will make it into the movie and which they may have to cut. Have family members choose favorite characters, and act out some scenes from the book. These types of activities build excitement and set the stage for seeing the movie together as a family. If you want to go all out, dress in costume to see the
movie. Afterwards, discuss how the movie differed from the book, and, more importantly, how it differed from the scenes created in family members’ imaginations.

You can follow the same process by reading The Chronicles of Narnia prior to seeing the movie. Younger children may enjoy hearing the classic tale of Chicken Little prior to seeing the Disney movie of the same name. Discuss the moral of the story, and, after watching the movie, talk about how the storyline in the movie demonstrated the principles of the classic.